Wilderness Thread. (And General Outdoor Bullshit.)

[Spitfire15]

So finals are next week. After which, Ill be setting out into the Everglades (I.E: Swamp), for a multi-day excursion.

One of my friends believes that we should only bring 1 knife each and Bear Grylls the shit out of it. But hes forgetting that none of us Bear Grylls and that it would in total starvation/ dehydration/ death. So as of now, the tings to bring are:

*- SUPPLIES -*
1. Tent.
2. Cooler. (Filled with who knows what. Space taken up by water bottles, is space taken up for Beer.)
3. Knifes. (Many of them.)
4. Fishing pole.
5. And probably a first aid kit.


*- POSSIBLE THREATS -*
1. Alligators.
2. Massive spiders. (That melt flesh or cause other awful things)
3. Massive snakes. (With and without Poison.)
4. Native Americans.

Need suggestions.




And also, discuss.

[injury]

Your friend is a stupid faggot and will likely die alone on an abandoned bus having been mauled to death by a bear.

Bring water and/or a way to purify water. If you don't you'll die.

What are you gonna sleep on? each other?

http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Without-Paddle-movie-01.jpg

[HATER.]

post photos of you vs. gator with knife. Also in the summer i will be camping in Maine for a week , but real camping , like killing things and fucking them.

[Spitfire15]

Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

[HATER.]

Your friend is a stupid faggot and will likely die alone on an abandoned bus.

http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Without-Paddle-movie-01.jpg
http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/intothewild11.jpg
oh yeah

[nsmbfan]

nature faggot

[acer910]

ha



2 days. tops.

[watson]

survivorman and manvswild


watch marathons of this until you know what's good

[Crocodile Tears]

bring a flare gun, bring two.

[Pfffffffffft]

bring lots of this....

http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2009/02/300.jpg




being chaffed is a major downer ...especially on an outdoor trip...

[armand hammer]

Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

steve irwin it and stick your thumb in its ass like a real man.
http://i836.photobucket.com/albums/zz282/vaderonerest/steve.jpg

just stay clear of sting rays theyll kill ya dontcha know.

[Saint Cynical]

getting wasted last night, my friends and i came to this conclusion. to survive in the wild you need a knife, rope, flint, and an ipod/iphone with every single man vs wild episode loaded on.
hope that helps.

[DISTRACT]

Bear mace, compass & map

[Realism]

You're forgetting your camera crew

[357]

Didn't you alreadt make this stupid pipe dream thread a few years ago.

And if I was you, which thankfully I am not. I would bring a pot belly pig on a leash.

Kill him when he's least expecting it and remove eyelids ears and snout. When you gut the pig remove bladder. It will smell and be quite messy but it will enable you to use undigested food as glue to adhese the ears/snout/eeyelids to your body in there respective areas. You may want to also use its tail as a jerky stick to chew on thruought the day.

Take hooves. Shave the toe nails into spearheads. Do not remove shin bones. "French" the skin away so as you may use said shin and hoove as an axe.

Pull out the intestines slowly so as not to tear them. Make drive sticks into the perimeter of your camp, string intestines around the steaks to create a fence.

Once the heart is removed place it into your armpit and hold it there for warmth, tho. I'm assuming in your forests heat will not be a problem.

Another handy tip for using pig teeth would be to pull the entire jaw out of the pigs face. Build yourself a potatoe gun by hollowing out a thick rotted out tree limb/branch sepending on the size of stray wood you find. If you do have a potatoe with you, great. If not recreate the shape of one by allowing some of the pigs fat to sit in the sun for a few hours abd vecome plyable.

Once youv created a palm sized fatball. Take the pig jaw and literally open it up so as you can wrap it over and encompass the ball of fat. Creating a one of the best pieces of homeback ammunition one could have. Literally you have just created a toothed flying mad ball capable of leaving nasty scrapes onto the face of unsuspecting indians.

Possibly even lodging some of the sauw teeth into there forheads and/or eyes. It may just save your life.

[fiddly.bits]

WTFF DOES THAT MEAN? ^

DIAGRAMS PLZ. Mspaint to the rescue.

[TheoHuxtable..]

Didn't you alreadt make this stupid pipe dream thread a few years ago.

And if I was you, which thankfully I am not. I would bring a pot belly pig on a leash.

Kill him when he's least expecting it and remove eyelids ears and snout. When you gut the pig remove bladder. It will smell and be quite messy but it will enable you to use undigested food as glue to adhese the ears/snout/eeyelids to your body in there respective areas. You may want to also use its tail as a jerky stick to chew on thruought the day.

Take hooves. Shave the toe nails into spearheads. Do not remove shin bones. "French" the skin away so as you may use said shin and hoove as an axe.

Pull out the intestines slowly so as not to tear them. Make drive sticks into the perimeter of your camp, string intestines around the steaks to create a fence.

Once the heart is removed place it into your armpit and hold it there for warmth, tho. I'm assuming in your forests heat will not be a problem.

Another handy tip for using pig teeth would be to pull the entire jaw out of the pigs face. Build yourself a potatoe gun by hollowing out a thick rotted out tree limb/branch sepending on the size of stray wood you find. If you do have a potatoe with you, great. If not recreate the shape of one by allowing some of the pigs fat to sit in the sun for a few hours abd vecome plyable.

Once youv created a palm sized fatball. Take the pig jaw and literally open it up so as you can wrap it over and encompass the ball of fat. Creating a one of the best pieces of homeback ammunition one could have. Literally you have just created a toothed flying mad ball capable of leaving nasty scrapes onto the face of unsuspecting indians.

Possibly even lodging some of the sauw teeth into there forheads and/or eyes. It may just save your life.


http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3962175/images/1236953541689.gif

[TheoHuxtable..]

Oh, and COS... you asked about Boxxy in that other thread.. which was closed. This video should answer everything: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16JutKkzXLU

[. . .]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCgV5CBZgSk
You know what lives in the woods?
Bears live in the woods.
Have fun.

[357]

Nice, if yer videos legit of course. I was choked, I typed out a typical cosesque statement/question(s) on my phone and when I went to hit post it came back closed.

Ill peep when I get home.

[KM4RT]

Watch out for those lil spikey fish that swim up in your urethra and cause a mess.

[357]

Oh, and COS... you asked about Boxxy in that other thread.. which was closed. This video should answer everything: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16JutKkzXLU

pretty much the perfect fucking link.

[357]

i dont like the layout of other forums. makes me not want to look at them at all.

[mr.feeny]

your forgettn smores

[BLU]

http://i40.tinypic.com/t6qn9d.gif

[357]

*barf

[christo-f]

Depends on how many days you are going for, will you have wheels or are you taking everything on your person, is there much walking involved. etc?

- Insect repellant
- Mosquito net
- cell phone (reception can be found sometimes)
- second pair of socks and underwear
- powder (for your feetz)
- vasoline (for the chafingz)
- water/filter/puri tabs/iodine (use a leg of pants filled with sand and charcoal to filter before using the iodine/puri tabs if you don't have enough water)
- spirits are better to take than beer if you're packing in; less room less weight. The more booze you take the more water you will need for the after effects
- a number of cigarette lighters in a waterproof bag. Take fire paste if the wood may be damp in that area where you are going.
- at least one torch each, mini maglights are the king of torches
- a mirror if you're going a good distance from any urban area
- High carb food is lighter to carry and better for camping, however usually needs water for cooking
- a hammock will get you off the ground if you're worried about gators/rats and you can get good ones with mosquito nets already incorporated in to the design.
- Salt to get rid of the leeches.
- betadine to put on nicks and cuts that will surely turn septic after a few days in a dirty, humid area



YOu an your other mates take this shit with you and encourage your other douche mate to just take a knife and see who enjoys the trip in comfort. IF you're going in to the swamp (god knows why you'd do that) the bugs will drive him mad before the gators, hunger and dehydration. Take a camera and record his fits of rage whilst trying to sleep amidst the buzzing and biting.

[357]

some decent ones in there.

[christo-f]

Oh god, I just saw that gif that blu posted.

That shit that squirts out...

horrible, just horrible.

[Smacky021]

Ductape, you never know when u'll need it...

[blood fart]

I have 2 "camping" trips so far planned for this summer.
One is at a 4-day German metalfest.
The other is on the beaches of Italy.
I'm bringing weed, pillows, sandwiches and Mezzo Mix.

<-----not into "roughing it" but real into tent sleeping, swimming and bonfires.

[MedicineCabinet]

camping in a swamp with those slimyass creatures you mentioned + more...

good fucking luck

[MAR]

Not that you probably care...

http://www.everglades.national-park.com/camping.htm

[Spitfire15]

I dont know. The animals dont really bother me. Ill def. be bringing a tent for myself. And some ear plugs to keep out the buzzing. My crazy friend wants to do EXTREME SURVIVAL but I just want to fish and catch snakes and throw rocks at alligators, maybe take some pictures. The trip will only be about 3-4 days tops. (Because my buddies girlfriend is forcing him to take some gay ass road trip and cutting in our man time.)


Also, this will be sitting in a barn/shed when we arrive. Almost forgot.

http://www.drivesuv.com/images/FordBroncoHistory.jpg

[i'moffthywallz]

http://www.panoramio.com/photos/original/23155165.jpg

[morton]

Learn how to use a compass and map and bring those along. A small first aid kit and a whistle are not bad ideas either along with iodine for water.

[Crocodile Tears]

i do know at 12pm the sun casts shadows that all point north. so you dont need a compass if you have a watch. i learned that watching The Edge with anthony hopkins when i was a kid, turned out to be true.

[acer910]

alright, first of all do NOT watch any bear gryls or wild man or whatever the fuck it is tv shows before you go. they do stupid shit on purpose so they get better ratings. they could easily survive without scaling that sheer ice cliff.

second of all, use a hammock. if you think you can camp on the ground in the everglades, you deserve to die.
stay out of the water, the trees in that area usually have vegetation growing at the base you can stand on and jump from tree to tree. atleast this is how it was in the swamp i used to live at.
i advise against starting a large fire. if you can get away without making a fire then go for it. (if you have water purification tablets, bug spray, packaged food and its summertime i cant think of to many valid excuses for fire)
carry a .45
and hope you arent fat and can climb trees.

[poes]

When is 12pm??

Also, definitely a invest in a decent torch.
Having no torch, or a wack torch is a big mistake.

[trill]

When is 12pm??
wut

[acer910]

oh and talk to someone who fought in nam.

[Crocodile Tears]

When is 12pm??

Also, definitely a invest in a decent torch.
Having no torch, or a wack torch is a big mistake.

right before 1300 o'clock

[FILTER.BFG]

a shaking cam like in blairwitch-project

[STAN51]

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/5691/dildo2bw6.jpg

[BLU]

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/05/01/blair_witch_wideweb__470x327,0.jpg

http://billsmovieemporium.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/blair-witch-project-photo2.jpg

http://elephantbeans.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/the_blair_witch_project_05-19.jpg

[R@ndomH3ro]

bring netting, fucking mosquitoes man

[injury]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

[SwampFightOner]

If you kill a crocodile/alligator, please throw in an extra stab for me.

I hate those fucking things

[357]

and that is why you are the Swamp Fight Oner.

[SystemFailure]

Combat knife.

Camo face paint

Gun

Moth balls smothered in Vaseline. Those shits will keep a flame for hours which is very handy.

[poes]

I was gonna say take an axe.
But im used to camping in wooded places that get cold at night.

I duno much about swamps.

[acer910]

jungle boots, make sure you dont catch swamp foot.

again, any vietnam vet could tell you what to do and what not to do.

[MedicineCabinet]

bring nothing but acid & guns

[Y.FRESHJIVE]

^^^^^^
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/59/Duke_and_gonzo.png

[pornbooth]

bring either one of these

http://skirtsandgiggles.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/tent.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_08nyYzsq37k/SxYHbH4qyxI/AAAAAAAAAsw/hX700pHqN4E/s400/dress13.jpg

[PITOFZOMBIES]

definitely bring the red one...

oh

camping haz funs

-pitofcampingfanatics

oh, and this looks fun:
http://images.zwani.com/graphics/funny_pictures/images/funny-pictures115.jpg

[Smacky021]

i do know at 12pm the sun casts shadows that all point north. so you dont need a compass if you have a watch. i learned that watching The Edge with anthony hopkins when i was a kid, turned out to be true.

the million dollar question is what image is carved on the back of the oar that has a black panther on the otherside... :D

[Fist 666]

haven't read the rest of the thread but


if you don't know what you're doing and you go out there thinking being a bad ass with knives will somehow help you, you're more likely to hurt yourself.
get a compass. learn how to use it. get a map. learn how to read it. make a plan (don't wing it, you're NOT a bad ass). bring food and water and ration yourself intelligently.

florida has some very cool terrain and some great hiking, but if you're an idiot you can very easily get hurt.
good luck.

[Spitfire15]

Related:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3VFCCqwAVA

[MedicineCabinet]

hi, im a badass alligator & im going to make you my bitch

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/2272/alligator.jpg

[Realism]

http://s2d2.turboimagehost.com/t/619246_chubbs.jpg

[belmonts]

extra batteries for fleshlight

[MedicineCabinet]

i brought my friend, who also ate my other friend

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/7251/y191691136604133.jpg

pleased to meet you

[Lewis and Clark]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/160/389409706_b16f859cef.jpg

cosign on weapons and drugs. they will for sure make your time in nature great

[MedicineCabinet]

^ you guy didnt discover shit!

[cunt sauce]

http://lamar.colostate.edu/~hillger/products/starkist2.jpg
http://www.foodservicedirect.com/productimages/OT316523S.jpg
http://www.chappaquacrunchgranola.com/Other/granola_mound.jpg
http://www.foodiewithfamily.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/gorp-18.jpg
http://static.promopeddler.com/prodpics/bigprodimgs/4900000/4904964.jpg
http://cache.backpackinglight.com/backpackinglight/images/items/rei-cruise-ul-60-backpack-review-main.jpg
http://www.jtrknife.com/MerchantUploads/edgeAcroboo/97KMS.jpg

[cunt sauce]

i would not recommend bringing a cooler. if you need to drink, i would recommend bringing grain alcohol not beer. more bang for the space taken and you can use it to sterilize your wounds in case you get into a nasty altercation with a gator.

[Knim_One]

im big into the outdoors.

i rock climb (traditional, multi pitch, aid, big walls)
flyfish
backpack (done multiple 30 day hikes)
backcountry telemark ski and snowboard
etc

if u ever have any serious questions pm me. oh and the portaledges (the rock wall camps) are fun but annoying at the same time.

[Knim_One]

ok suggestions on what u NEED to take.

water purifier (google "aquamira")
first aid kit (with items for footcare (google "preventing blisters")
food of your choice
stove (google msr whisperlight) and the fuel/know how to use it)
extra set of clothes to change into if u are wet/cold (use wool or synthetics, not cotton)
map/compass/gps (if u have a gps)
shelter (at the minimum a bugnet) or a tent if u have one.
sleeping bag and pad
drugs

[Getoe]

Gator steaks are the shit! Just tell the first gator you see that you don't want beef, just tail.

[Dark_Knight]

i do know at 12pm the sun casts shadows that all point north. so you dont need a compass if you have a watch. i learned that watching The Edge with anthony hopkins when i was a kid, turned out to be true.

If you have a needle, or any straight piece of metal and you rub it against silk, you can place it on a leaf in the water, and it will point south.





also learned from the edge

[Spitfire15]

So I was just out fishing because the weather is so damn nice, I look over 10 feet to my right and I see a pair of beady eyes staring back at me. From a guesstimate it was at least 6 foot long alligator. I searched for a picture of something similar but then I found this, which is 100x more awesome.


http://fineartamerica.com/images-medium/eagle-and-alligator-michelle-miron.jpg

[Lewis and Clark]

when does your trip start? do you have a confirmed supplies list?

[poes]

http://www.canadaka.net/modules/My_eGallery/gallery/funnypics/animals/cat_vs_eagle.jpg

[skeedupfromthefeetup]

bump the outdoors....
camping is my shit....make sure you take weed and shrooms

[Lewis and Clark]

http://scienceblogs.com/strangerfruit/480_eagle%20vs%20fox.jpg

[tanxxx_one]

Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fagWell if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fagWell if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag
Well if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fagWell if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fagWell if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fagWell if we have a run with a gator, the most obvious, and logical response would be to kill it and eat it.

spitfire's a fag

[Crocodile Tears]

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv108/ohthatwasgood/Screenshot2010-05-01at13936PM.png

[poes]

:lol:

[poes]

I watched this last night:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaTyWTdyiF8

Swamp doesnt look like much fun.

[BLU]

http://i42.tinypic.com/2q9dzl0.gif

[MedicineCabinet]

survivorman is badass

its the only show i even consider "reality tv"

[Lewis and Clark]

cosign

bear grylls is a faggot

survivor man is the king of the jungle

[poes]

I dont know know much about the swamps, but dude sleeps like 3 feet away from the river.
What makes him think he isnt going to get eaten by a crocodile?

[jessiemae320]

Wilderness camp (http://www.teenwildernessprograms.org) for troubled teen is really fun in my opinion, apart from dealing with personal issues, they teach you how to live and survive in the wilderness.

[toluene_causes_tumors]

thanks for the advice, jessiemae. i am troubled teen. can help you me?

[Hullucination]

this thread reminded me to buy a new fishing pole. my old one got cut in half when i accidently closed my truck door on it.

[Dark_Knight]

TROUT SEASON

[f-minus]

Wilderness camp (http://www.teenwildernessprograms.org) for troubled teen is really fun in my opinion, apart from dealing with personal issues, they teach you how to live and survive in the wilderness.


http://i1103.photobucket.com/albums/g469/fminus12/lol-wut.jpg

[Manute Bol]

nature faggot

I lol'd

good luck, get dat pelt
http://i56.tinypic.com/15ehl5t.jpg

[NightmareOnElmStreet]

i'm down with hikin and shit tho. dropped about a grand last summer on various
supplies and gear. been into it for a few years but i've never went on any serious trips.
one day i'd like to go to the amazon. just sayin.

[soul vice]

http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/public/gifB5sZu70ccTzz1IHf25LhTDFZkVl4pp1HGbYMfUYm6yEYKxJ 3Ec_lFPJ0t45nS_N5ROwqo1lfQFJ9OUDL8J2elfZIQKOC_q3KM hBb6WDpKLofkxZ-U1aB8PmdNd72BhqfPxHW7xW4ga7Cmu-xtgkYWYFIvMG3ACtc



you just need one of these and that truck.


unless you're a pussy.

[siks6siks]

http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/astroglide2.jpg

get a case.