make me laugh fuckers!

[WebsterUno]

Peeps!

It was the first day of school for the kindergarten class,the teacher
> walked in the classroom, she noticed something was written on the board.
> The chalkboard read "T T T 1 A."
> She looked at the children and said, " who wrote this?" Little Aaron
> raises his hand and says, " I did, teacher." The teacher says, "Well, what
> does that mean, Aaron?" Aaron answers,
> "It means, To The Teacher 1 Apple," and gives ;the teacher an apple.
> "Very
> good," says the teacher, "Thank You," The next morning, the teacher walks
> in the classroom, and notices something written on the board. The
> chalkboard read "T T T 1 O". She
> asked the children, "Who wrote this?"
> Then little Alex answers, "I did, teacher." The teacher says, "Well Alex,
> what does that mean?"
> Alex says, "It means, To The Teacher 1 Orange," and gives the teacher an
> orange. "Very good, Alex, thank you." The next morning, she walks in the
> classroom, and she noticed the board read, " F U C K I T". The teacher,
> disappointed, said, "WHO WROTE THIS!!"
> Then little Juanito, raises his hand and says, " I did, teacher". The
> teacher says, " Well, what does this mean, Juanito?" Juanito answers, "
> It means, From Us Chicano Kids 1 Tamale".

make a funny, NOW!
Love me or hate me, bust some funnys!

[--zeSto--]

man: pack your bags wife, I just won the lottery

woman: should I pack for the beach or the mountains?

man: I dont care, just get the fuck out!


(kills me every time!)

[Gnes 37]

a couple is leaving a party the girl needs to take a piss the girl ask her boyfriend where can i go? her boyfriend says go do it behind that bush ill watch for you. so she says okay she goes behind the bush, her boy friend starts getting real horny walks over to the bush puts hand through the bush hoping to grab her ass instead he crabs something round and warm, he yells my god susy! did you go through a sex change??!! susy says no! im just taking a shit!!!

okay not that funny but kinda sick oh well i have a whole bunch more cept its better in person

[SIELOETTE]

Stop me if youve..

Whats grenn and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger..

Gawd thats an opener if Ive ever heard one..(sarcastic)

[willy!wonka]

Originally posted by --zeSto--:
man: pack your bags wife, I just won the lottery

woman: should I pack for the beach or the mountains?

man: I dont care, just get the fuck out!


(kills me every time!)

hahahaha

[kid furie]

why can't helen keller drive?
cause shes a woman!

peep the game

whut up webby?!

[knowlej]

Originally posted by kid furie:
why can't helen keller drive?
cause shes a woman!

peep the game

whut up webby?!


hahahahah i can't believe it haha

[imported_my mom buys my clothes]

alright, two penuts were walking alone in the woods, one was a salted.

[TOY]

these jokes are crazy. i dont have any cuz i just do and say funny stuff.

[imported_SCOTCH WHISKEO]

What do you call a Graffiti Writer who just broke up with his girlfriend?...Homeless! hey wait a minute thats not funny atall.

[imported_SCOTCH WHISKEO]

Why aren't there more female bombers?
...'cause men just don't respect their fill-ins.
...get it???...feel-in's...get it???? oh, never mind.

[WebsterUno]

http://home.earthlink.net/~zefrank/invite/...navigation.html ('http://"http://home.earthlink.net/~zefrank/invite/swfs/navigation.html"')

go here! Stir the pot of love

[imported_PIRone716]

the with the couple leaving the party is great.

------------------
I'M the ONE.

[imported_charles_bronson]

whats better than a barrel of dead babies?
sticking pins in thier eyes.

what do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?

an erection.

worst jokes ever.

here a good one though...
whats the hardest part about sleeping with the young girls at parties?

washing the blood out of your clown suit.


------------------
xxxstraightedgexxx

[imported_suburbian bum]

that shits just funkin shit charles...

[imported_pacman]

Whats the difference between a pornstar and a nun?


NUTTIN!

hahaha(I made that up)sorry

------------------
<- - - -(")- -(")owoop

[knowlej]

Originally posted by pacman:
Whats the difference between a pornstar and a nun?


NUTTIN!

hahaha(I made that up)sorry




don't worry... no one could tell

[willy!wonka]

did you erase that other one?

[willy!wonka]

there this bar in mexico...
some guy takes a gander at this bar and noticed a pot of $20. bills he goes inside and sees this donkey..
he asks the bar tender..
M:whats the pot of twentys for?
B/T:if you can make the donkey luagh you get the pot of bills..you must pay $20.
M [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//redface.gif'>k..no problem.
so he gets up whispers in the donkey's ear..the donkey starts luaghin his ass off.
takes the money and leaves..
he walks by the same bar and saw another pot only it has $100. bills inside..
walks in and says
M:whats the pot for this time?
B/T:if you can make the donkey cry you can take the pot..
M [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//redface.gif'>k.
so he pays the fee goes up to the donkey and secretly does something...
donkey starts luaghin
takes the pot..before he leave the bartender asks..
B/T:how did you do that?????????
M:the first time i told the donkey i had a bigger dick than him...the second time i showed him....

yeah i know.....

[WebsterUno]

Originally posted by SIELOETTE:
Stop me if youve..

Whats grenn and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger..

OH NO YOU DIDNT!

Zesto, that one kills me everytime too.
You guys are some funny muh fuckahz, keep em coming.
Ill be back with another. Im at work again, I left really late last night. Im back for round 2! *ding ding*

[WebsterUno]

Originally posted by willy!wonka:
did you erase that other one?



yeah, I accidently posted 2 before I left work. oops. Ill be back with a funny.

[imported_garcia_vega]

i only know horrible and mean jokes, so sorry to everbody i offend.

what's better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics?
not being retarded.

what do gay horses eat?
hay haaay hay!!

[imported_theFUME]

lol

------------------
"So analyze me surprise me but cant magmatize me"
-nas

[imported_freighthunter]

why dosent mexico have a navy?

because cardboard dosent float..

[--zeSto--]

Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. The next day they met again for an early pint, and compared notes about who was more drunk.

The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."

To which the second guy replied, "You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"

And the third proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, got in a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!"

There was silence for a moment and then the first guy exclaimed, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog."

[willy!wonka]

hahahahahahaha

[willy!wonka]

here it goes again...

3 guys escape from prison...
they run through the forest to find an old potatoe factory...
the cops are right on thier tail..
the 3 guys hop into 3 different potatoe sacks..
the cps come runnin in....
one cop starts kickin the sacks....
he kick a sack with 1 of the 3 guys hiding inside...
the guy replies.."meeeeeoooow,,,meow.....
cop thinks to himself.."oh its just a cat"..
goes and kicks another sack with an escapee inside....
guy replies..."woof grrr wooooof"
cop says "oh its just a dog"...
kicks the last sack with an escapee inside..
escapee replies.........................
potatoes,potatoes.......

[--zeSto--]

Originally posted by willy!wonka:
here it goes again...


potatoes,potatoes.......

didn't we cover this???


here's one..

Q: Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?

A: Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, and then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, and then go to the refrigerator.

[--zeSto--]

At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this?"

"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth."

[img]http://www.theiceberg.com/deeper/summer/humour/bush.gif'> [img]http://www.theiceberg.com/deeper/summer/humour/bush6.gif'>

[--zeSto--]

bump for bush

[Kr430n5_666]

http://www.seanbaby.com/news/images/bear5.jpg'>
“I really can't imagine ever seeing anything cooler in my life. Except for maybe those scenes in movies where like the aliens are watching TV, and then later they mimic all the stuff they saw when it's not appropriate. Like they try to make out with the bad guy and recite something from a gameshow when the Earth kid teaches them the meaning of friendship. So like the kid hugs them and they say, "Win fabulous prizes!!!" I think those fish-out-of water comedies are really really funny.”
- Sally, age 12, Carpenter


------------------
$$$[i]666MAKROS666$$$

[MeroSeis]

What does Snoop Dogg wash his laundry with?

BLEE-OOOOOOOOOOTCH!!

[WebsterUno]

Question: What does a blonde and an airplane have in common?
Answer: A cockpit!

sorry ladies!

[WebsterUno]

A man is at the bar, really drunk. Some guys decide to be good samaritans and get him home.
***So they pick him up off the floor, and drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car and, he falls down four more times.
***They ring the bell, and one says, "Here's your husband!"
***The man's wife says, "Where the hell is his wheelchair?"

[imported_theFUME]

webster uno that shit is funni


wheres his wheel chair


thats fukin hillarius

------------------
"So analyze me surprise me but cant magmatize me"
-nas

[eros]

Originally posted by MeroSeis:
What does Snoop Dogg wash his laundry with?

BLEE-OOOOOOOOOOTCH!!


That is the best joke I have ever heard.

[willy!wonka]

one for WEBSTER....
this guy cant get his dingaling up...
so he goes to the doc to get something done about it..
the doc says: your muscles at the base of your penis are not working at all...
the guy replies: is there something you can do?!
doc: there is a new type of muscle restoration process..we take the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk and place them in your penis...
guy: OK as long as i can get it up again!
so he goes through the whole process and is happy.. [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//smile.gif'>
so after he heals he take his girl out to a nice restraunt hopeing to do the nasty later on..
all of a sudden he feel an urging pain in his pants!
his dick pops out of his zipper and grabs a dinner roll and goes back into his pants...
his woman was very impressed...
woman: Can you do that again?
guy: I can try but I dont know if my ass can take another roll..........

[willy!wonka]

how long.....
did it take your mother.....
to take a shit????????

9 months!oooooooooooooooooooooh [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//eek.gif'>

[imported_chizm]

i care because you do.

[imported_ubejinxed]

Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat or eggs but you can't beat a blowjob

Q. Why does a wiener have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a male appendage have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.


Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your whang?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed

yah they're pretty bad..... sorry


------------------
high plains drifter

[This message has been edited by ubejinxed (edited 06-08-2001).]

[imported_ubejinxed]

your mama jokes for all occasions

Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a knife to a drive-by shooting.

Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took you to the drive-in to see "Closed for the season."

Yo mama's so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking.

Yo mama's so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.

Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.

Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."

Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's..."

Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.



------------------
high plains drifter

[willy!wonka]

Originally posted by ubejinxed:


Yo mama's so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.

Yo mama's so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.



AH SHIZZLE MY NIZZLE

I TALK ABOUT YOUR MAMA CAUSE YOU TALKED ABOUT MINE.SHE GOT PING PONG TITTIES AND A RUBBER BEHIND.
SHE GOT HAIR ON HER COUCHIE THAT WILL SWEEP THE FLOOR.
SHE'S ABOUT THE UGLIEST BITCH I'D EVA SEEN BEFOE!
SHE WOULD SUCK THE NIGHT-STICK OF ANY PIG.
ONLY ONE LAYIN DOWN IN A (SEXUAL) GANG-BANG!
UH HUH YES SHE DID...
TIRED OF PIMP HER ASS UP AND DOWN MY BLOCK..
IM THE ONE THAT SENT HER HOME ...
FOR YOU TO CUT OFF THEM BUTT-LOCKS!!!!
[img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//eek.gif'>

FORIZZLE MY NIZZLE

[imported_alkaline]

A pirate walks into a bar. As he comes in, the bartender notices that the pirate is completely naked except for a steering wheel attached to his penis. The pirate orders a beer, slams it down, and turns to leave. The bartender stops him at the door and says, “Hey, buddy, what’s with the steering wheel? That’s gotta be uncomfortable.”
The pirate turns to the bartender and replies, “Arrr, It’s drivin’ me nuts.”


------------------
plain high drifter

[imported_pacman]

This ladies got a really stank ass cooch, she's been to all kinds of doctors and healers and such. The last doctor tells her that all she can really do is go to a church and rinse it off with holy water and pray for the stench to go away. She heads to aa church, starts washing herself and hears "kerplunk" "kerplunk". She than notices two nails in the water, and looks up to see see jesus plugging his nose.

------------------
<- - - -(")- -(")owoop

[imported_my mom buys my clothes]

Originally posted by alkaline:
A pirate walks into a bar. As he comes in, the bartender notices that the pirate is completely naked except for a steering wheel attached to his penis. The pirate orders a beer, slams it down, and turns to leave. The bartender stops him at the door and says, “Hey, buddy, what’s with the steering wheel? That’s gotta be uncomfortable.”
The pirate turns to the bartender and replies, “Arrr, It’s drivin’ me nuts.”




damn thats funny!

[imported_my mom buys my clothes]

ok, three ropes were sitting around bored, so one went to the bar to get a drink. the first rope walks in and the bartender, says "sorry pal, we dont serve your kind here." so the rope goes home and tells his friends he couldnt get a drink. the second rope decides he'll try, so he goes to the bar but the bartender says "sorry, we dont server your kind here." so the rope goes back home. the third rope decides to try a disguise, so he frayes up both his ends and ties him self in a knot. when he gets to the bar the bartender says "sorry buddy, but im afraid we dont serve ropes," so the rope says "well, im afraid not!"

that was the answer to a joke on my english homework, funny stuff

[WebsterUno]

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs
to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions."
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,
"What is your occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work.*** That
is much too crass.*** Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a prostitute."

"No, that is still too crude.*** Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm a chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being
a whore or a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year!"

Yeah, the pirate one had me laughing too The otthers were funny too. [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//smile.gif'>

[imported_dik.n.ur.ear]

[img]http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Station/9622/img2hires.jpg'>

[This message has been edited by dik.n.ur.ear (edited 06-08-2001).]

[WebsterUno]

Willy, I got one for you, gimmie a few mins.
Secret, thats a classic.
Ibejinx, those came correct, thanx. I started laughing out loud, and shared some with my coworkers.
Chizm-?
Fr8Hunter-killin me! [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//smile.gif'>
thanx all, keep em coming peeps!

[imported_tEkRoCkS]

arr its driven me nuts....thats funny shit!

[imported_tEkRoCkS]

Originally posted by willy!wonka:
one for WEBSTER....
this guy cant get his dingaling up...
so he goes to the doc to get something done about it..
the doc says: your muscles at the base of your penis are not working at all...
the guy replies: is there something you can do?!
doc: there is a new type of muscle restoration process..we take the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk and place them in your penis...
guy: OK as long as i can get it up again!
so he goes through the whole process and is happy.. [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//smile.gif'>
so after he heals he take his girl out to a nice restraunt hopeing to do the nasty later on..
all of a sudden he feel an urging pain in his pants!
his dick pops out of his zipper and grabs a dinner roll and goes back into his pants...
his woman was very impressed...
woman: Can you do that again?
guy: I can try but I dont know if my ass can take another roll..........
yo i fell out my seat i was laughin so hard im still tryin not to.....o man.my eyes are watery.

[imported_WibONE]

Originally posted by freighthunter:
why dosent mexico have a navy?

because cardboard dosent float..

hahahahah .......

[willy!wonka]

Q:WHAT HAS 97 TEETH AND HOLDS BACK A MONSTER?
A: MY ZIPPER

[knowlej]

man i got some nasty jokes...
Q)whats red, white and hanging from a telephone pole?
A)a dead baby shot out of a snowblower

Q)What do all abuse families have in common?
A)they don't fucken listen

Q)How do you make a dead baby float?
A)two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby


I got so much more.. haha just tell me if you want more hahaha...

[teister]

go read letters from a nut by Ted L. Nancy

[Benvolio]

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where
she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this
she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and
tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing
her right breast to see if there is any
reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this,
the doctor suggests that the man should go
in and try oral sex,saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happened to which the man replies: "She choked.

This one's for da Tekster and my boy Smart, hope things work out for ya.

[AeRoS0ul]

AHHH HAAA HAAA !!!!!!!!! NICE

[WebsterUno]

****sleepin on the job…again****

A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table,
notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone.
He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive
bottle of champagne to be sent over to her-knowing that
if she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and
quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the
gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to
send a note over to the man. The note read: "For me to
accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your
garage, $1M in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
WELL, the man, after reading this note, sends one of his
own back to her and it read: "Just so you know-I happen
to have TWO Mercedes in my garage, I have over $2M in
the bank, but not even for YOU, would I cut off 2 inches!
Send my bottle back!"

[imported_Comp]

what's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline

how do you get a dead baby into a tupperware container?

a blender

How do you get it out?

Tostitos

[WebsterUno]

Whats with the dead baby jokes?
You guys are sick. [img]http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//tongue.gif'>

A camel, a jackass, and a pig walk into a bar,
bartender asks, "what, is this some kind of joke?"

[imported_curious george]

how did hellen keller's parents punish her?


they rearranged the furniture.