[Mercer]

Found this on teh interwebz, thought it was pretty funny.

[Mini Bus]

I once did four hits of acid and went to work at this skate shop I had only been there once but managed to help out several people the owner knew me and hired me on the spot he never knew I was dosed that day.

[RIPS]

[Realism]

That snapper in the first picture is immaculately twisted

jus liek my blunts

[MedicineCabinet]

[eviltrailer77]

[SystemFailure]

One time I thought about killing my boss at work. Then I didn't and went home.

[john_gacy]

Frankly Mr. Mercer, I'm a bit disapoint in this. Please say you were at least impaired when you made this.

[Mercer]

You're right, this does suck and no I wasn't impaired, just smoked a little weed and I was bored.

[MedicineCabinet]

yeah, it sucks so far because of us... but the thread itself has real potential. i was leaving earlier & dropped a random gif. for the sake of taking up space. probably been a few other older threads with similar themes, but old threads die out.. & some of them should stay dead - i consider the back pages like volumes of oontzism history

what that comes to mind is my first kitchen job as a teen... my manager was only a year older than me & went to the same school. he was cool with me & his brother was in one my my classes, so i basically had free reign... it wasnt fast food, but it was a shitty chain restaurant nontheless.. which basically meant that a bunch of teenagers ran the whole show, with the exception of a couple middle-aged lifers

on one of our busiest days of the year (forgot what holiday it was), our manager called in sick at the last minute.. & i know he was full of shit because ive started to hang out with him outside of work all the time - just kicking it, burning, playing video games & shit. we were about half a turnover behind, swimming in unfinished chits & this guy had the audacity to call in for a delivery -_- we all just said fuck him & sent him a plastic container filled with some random food bits swimming in pickle (or jalapeno, cant remember) juice, which he still had to pay for. he was still my friend after, but never did that to us again. alot of funny memories from this place



another jerb - my first one ever, which was at some lame gardening/flower nursery during my junior year in highschool. not much of a prank here, but i hated this job. i was basically a carryout for all these rich old fucks... heaving bags of soil & all kinds of heavy shit into peoples cars for minimal pay, while working under a blazing hot sun

i discovered this sweet, wide ledge between the property & where we kept all the bags of topsoil & shit. used to take 20 minute naps, or just lay down in the cool shade on said ledge for as long as could at every shift

[john_gacy]

I didn't say the thread didn't have potential. I can admit doing something along the lines of the above once (once), except it also included one of those large rubber trash cans filled with water as well as several other pranks done at the same time.

[BRICKOS2]

Sign'em up to gay dating site and wait for their inbox to explode upon returning to work...

[Crocodile Tears]

Ch0, where we demand only excellence.

[john_gacy]

I worked at a different place with a dude who was a little bit of a douchebag becoming a bigger douchebag. Anyhow, he and a coworker came through an office window and door lighting me up with super soakers. I wouldn't have cared but douchebag hit a bunch of papers that were needed. He was really into Scarface and Carlito's Way. One day soon after he was coming back from a donut/coffee run. I knew he would take the side entrance where a door would lock behind him as he came down a flight of stairs. As I heard the door shut I stepped into the stairwell and said remember me, Benny Blanco from the Bronx and hit him up short range with a super soaker. Dude was kind of a bitch, throwing all the coffee and donuts down at me and crying about getting water on it, lol. Anyhow, yeah.

[Evac]

I worked as a chef for a while, and what you can read in "Kitchen Confidential' by Anthony Bordain is the tip of the iceberg. One story that stuck to mind was one my Executive Head Chef told me. He was working at The Ritz in London where he got his first Michelin star, and was asked by one of his Larder chefs to cook staff dinner because he didn't have time. Now, this is something you don't ask your Head Chef to do, nor a chef with enough expertise to have a Michelin Star.
My Head Chef went to the local grocery store, and bought 5 1KG tins of Pal dog food. He put it into a tray, put some puff pastry on top, and cooked it.
Whole kitchen ate it, and at the end of service he told them, and why. Most of them were throwing up, and a few quit.

I laughed, I laughed so hard I pee'd a little.

[RIPS]

Lol anthrax alert

[HUSK]

Originally Posted by Crocodile Tears (View Original Post)

Ch0, where we demand only excellence.

to the highest standard.

[Drue_Down]

http://crabrevenge.com/

nuff said.

[BullshitTantrum]

upper decking the toilets.

[metronome]

I work in a refinery, and this one prank I heard about was pretty decent.
I guess there was a guy who was a bit of a blowhard, and everybody was sick of listening to him talk about how awesome he was at everything.
So one day somebody challenged him to a race up a distillation tower (ladder cages, 20-30 feet at a time up a 140 foot tower) wearing a scott pack (same kind of rig you see scubadivers using basically)
So these two guys packed up, and started climbing the tower and the guys turned on a fire monitor (hydrant with an articulating arm to help you aim it) and pinned this guy in a ladder cage somewhere around halfway up the tower. That would fucking suuuuuck.

[shai]

When I worked in the grocery business, one of my favorites was to get someone's attention, and when they turn towards yell "CATCH!" and throw a watermelon/pumpkin/box of lettuce in their direction. That, or blast them with the hose, or stuff a handful of ice down their pants/shirt.

I think one of the worst things I saw wasn't a prank. My assistant manager told some kid he'd give him five bucks if he could eat a stick of unsalted butter, no chaser. It took him about five minutes and halfway through he was looking pretty green, but he did it.

What else...zip tying all the shopping carts together is good for a laugh. Filling a trash can with wet/heavy stuff then throwing some lettuce/corn husks on top right as someone's starting their cleanup shift. Food fights were common, especially in the bakery. Taking weird pieces of fat/meat from the butcher's garbage, bagging it and stuffing it into someone's locker. Beatboxing over the intercom. Dumb shit, but it passed the time.

[SystemFailure]

Worked as a dough slinger ina pizza place.

Antiquing motherfuckers was always prevalent

[shai]

I found that moving their pizza all the way to the back or the front of the oven is another good trick.

[SystemFailure]

Over baking garlic knots till they are bigger than a baseball but just as hard

Then cannon firing those motherfuckers at coworkers was fun

left brutal welts

[shai]

Some guys at another store down the road from us used to have late night bowling tournaments using frozen turkeys as the ball and two liter soda bottles as the pins.

Putting weird crap into the freezer section was fun. Cans of whipped cream and eggs were favorites.