THE WRITERS FORUM - THE GRAFFITI DESTINATION

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Default bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 08:53 AM

today is the 2 yr anniversary of me and my wife's marriage (?). last july we split up.

so i decided i would celebrate by going to the bar and getting DAF (drunk as fuck) all by myself. its a weekday, so the bar is incredibly slow.

so im chillin, sippin jameson (on some jimmy mcnulty shit, please believe) when this gorgeous broad walks in the speakeasy. she is sittin on the other side of the bar, but i keep an open ear. turns out she works at bandon dunes, which is one of the best golf courses in the fuckin states. if you know me, you know i love golf. fuck. so i end up chatting it up with her. apparently she is at the bar because she just found out her husband is fucking another woman...


GOLDEN

she mentions something about how she really likes "titty bars"...

"oh really? my ace is the bouncer at the ******** ***, lets go there, you deserve some good times...."

----

so this crazy druk bitch drivs me to the spot, and i talk her into getting buck naked on stage and spreading her guts for me. terrific guts. shaved slit, nice rack, and an awesome body.

after her dance, she collectes her money and we go outside to have a cigarette. everything is going rad until a big fight breaks out and the cops come. big downer.

we leave the bar, and at a stoplight i tell her,

"pull over somewhere so i can fuck you in the backseat of this jeep, you got me riled up"

she looks at me and says "im not a slut, sorry"


WTF??!?!?

BITCH i just talked you into spreading your cunt in front of a long shoreman, your huband dont give a fuck about you, and im handsome as fuck.

god damnit.

this story sucks, BUT..



bitches is crazy
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 08:56 AM

im in the same boat right now too dude, not necessarily the same circumstances but all the same bummed and blue balled.

spankwire here i come.

also, propped.




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 08:56 AM

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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 08:58 AM





"We realized that hamsters are actually mice with afros. People think they're pets, and have them in their houses, but the reality is, a hamster, a gerbil, a guinea pig - all those are, is rats with fur coats on. It's the same thing. You wanna act like it's not what it is... If you think I'm joking, just let him loose in your house and see if he doesn't burrow in to the wall, and start doing rat-like things." - Charlie Murphy

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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 09:06 AM

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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 09:11 AM

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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 09:26 AM

10 bucks says this never happened.
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 09:27 AM

20 bucks says your not even that handsome.
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 09:35 AM

oh, he's that handsome. nh

i believe you dow. the fuck does miley know, she's like 13.




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 09:56 AM





"We realized that hamsters are actually mice with afros. People think they're pets, and have them in their houses, but the reality is, a hamster, a gerbil, a guinea pig - all those are, is rats with fur coats on. It's the same thing. You wanna act like it's not what it is... If you think I'm joking, just let him loose in your house and see if he doesn't burrow in to the wall, and start doing rat-like things." - Charlie Murphy

Shout Outs: Cliff, Clair, Denise, Vanessa, Rudy
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 10:06 AM

you just got treated homie...




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 10:29 AM

damn that sucks




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 10:32 AM

If she was drivn you around then why the fuck you going to get it in the car...what about her takn you home, well to your place I mean?

You got used bad and she thought it was worth the spread. Some bitches are like that even into the drunken stages of the night.

It was the 12th anniversary of this brewery near me and they always throw a huge bash. So me and my boy back from the military are getting DAF as usual when he visits. A lot of awesome shit happened that night but what Im getting to is this chick I met dancing. Some foriegn chick named olga or something. Petite and proportioned...my favorite. So after we dance for a bit brewery starts closn. She diggn me so Im thinkn its going to go down later. Were talkn and I walk her home since she lives near the place. We get to talking on her couch and she mentions shes a musician...word...THEN she pops up and whips out this violin and starts playing it for me. Its 3am and Im more than becoming impatient. She pulls this Im 32 and your 21 (at the time) ....I didnt care. She starts beating around the bush so I said I gotta call a friend..I called a cab instead and pieced out whilst it was storming down rain and she wanted to chat MORE!! bleh


:edit: Admitably so I didnt have a condom at the time...so I guess IM glad it didnt happen looking back on it.
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 10:34 AM

im 13 and a half assholes.
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 10:45 AM

smash^




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 12:10 PM

man that's rough...you should of just raped her. RAPE!
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 12:14 PM

I request pictures, or I may only conclude that this tale is a mere falsehood.




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 12:55 PM

Props because I am bored as fuck and I appreciate the time it took to write that out.




Not childish, but child-like.
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 01:31 PM

Bitches aint crazy, BITCHES ARE JUST STUPID.


I'll add another mindfuck to the thread, why not? So Im messing with 2 seperate girls right now, one is a virgin! A sexxy smokin hot petite jewish chick who..... (wait for it ) - will only suck dick!? And the other girl is a barbie lookin blond chick who fucks like a pro but refuses to give head!? WTF is that shit? the jewish girl thinks shes has to save something for her husband, and I keep tellin her, a bad fuck can ruin a marriage so she needs to get practice, and the other bitch thinks shes all innocent and doesnt want a dick in her mouth cuz she thinks shes too good for it "oh hell no, ill never put a dick in my mouth, I kiss my mom with this mouth"

These 2 dumb bitches seriously need to have a sit down and figure out some sort of common ground amongst women, unfortunately I cant be the one to introduce them. I really would love to sit and watch them debate.


smh.

Sorry to hear about ur fucked up story, the worst part about it all, is that women are trained to throw the "im not a slut" line out the exact moment a man brings up sex, no matter what. Its a default answer, the thing is, she probably really is a slut, and wanted to fuck, but as soon as a women says that stupid shit, even if itsa default accidental slip they have to hold to it or they REALLY look like a slut for letting you hit it when they initially said no.

dumb bitches.


moral of the story? Jerkin off takes 10 minutes, hanging out with a girl takes a whole evening and a ton of "uh huh, uh huh, sure whatever you say hun, uh huh"

Last edited by twonpoo : 01-27-2010 at 01:37 PM.
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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 02:02 PM

sOmetimes bitches just want the satisfactory of knowing they could fuck a guy if they wanted to... U kno for an ego boost. the sec u give them the chance of shutting u down when u put yourself out there they usually take it.. I dunno maybe they think that there pussy is more valuable than it really is. I woulda played it smart and let the anticipation build and her wondering if she can fuck me... So I woulda jus pretended like I had something waiting for me ten times better at home.. I guaranteed I woulda hit it!! She woulda been inviting me upstairs for coffee like George castanza. Lol
"see I didn't kno coffee meant... well you kno "coffee"..."




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 02:18 PM

P.s I always tell bitches that my grip is way more tighter than any other bitches pussy that Ive ever
lodged in... They laugh at first, but then they start to realize tht it's true.
Reminds me of tht tupac song.. "Down to ride to tha very end, it's just me n my right hand..."




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 02:31 PM

Your tale was entertaining




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 02:36 PM


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Lightbulb Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 02:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheoHuxtable.. (View Original Post)

Hey wait this pictures from '06 which means she's atleast fifteen by now... Ok phew. now I feel
like less of a creep.. Game on!




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Default Re: bitches is crazy - 01-27-2010, 02:56 PM

That's crazy, did you get her number or anything? Seems worth a second shot.




Originally Posted by MAR (View Original Post)


yo where do you get mouse control? I cant find it on bombing science or 4thehardway.
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