Constipated as hell, chugging black pony penis water like I'm Mad Max. - Page 3 - THE WRITERS FORUM

toluene_causes_tumors · (#52)

drink half a cup of olive oil

drink lots of water afterwards

SwampFightOner · (#53)

I've never been constipated before, but it sounds awful

**theprotester** · (#54)

You ain't shit, mate.

**Pfffffffffft** · (#55)

**Pfffffffffft** · (#56)

4x4 · (#57)

As some of you predicted, black coffee didn't do SHIT(aside from keeping me up in misery all night)

SO, I'm gonna try some of this chank coconut water I got at the 99c store.

**theprotester** · (#58)

While I appreciate the update, I don't really see why you don't just grip a box of laxatives. I've never been as full of shit as you, but it doesn't sound like something a home remedy is going to make better.

4x4 · (#59)

Coconut milk worked in like 30min

Enmity · (#60)

pic or it didn't happen

toluene_causes_tumors · (#61)

any hot fluid in large amounts as soon as you wake up seems to work
i tried just drinking hot water instead of coffee when i woke up
still worked
i like to get my shitting out of the way first thing in the morning, feel lighter on my feet for the rest of the day

injury · (#62)

take pics when you do poop finally

i wanna see

belmonts · (#63)

Realism · (#64)

That's a lot of shit for a baby. Suspicious.

I'm gonna go ahead and assume his father got wasted and shit all over the room, planting his infant son as evidence.

That's what I'd do anyway, not that I plan on having children.

RIPS · (#65)

**Decyferon** · (#66)

you would be amazed at how much shit a lil kid can produce.

I always find that smoking a joint or cigarette first thing always makes me want to take a dump.

Realism · (#67)

I like my theory more, but that's just because I'm in it for lols. Strictly lols.

And yeah, some mornings I smoke a cigarette and drink a coffee for breakfast and feel like my stomach is collapsing.

YoungCousin · (#68)

Can't recommend this stuff enough. It'll give you the most perfect beautiful poops every single time.

Deloner · (#69)

This..

BullshitTantrum · (#70)

Quote:

Originally Posted by lambmeet (View Original Post)

This^

Also try drinking 1tbsp of chia seeds in about 8 oz of water.
go to your local health food store and buy some probiotics, 50billion+ culture
stop taking opiates/suboxone/methadone, etc.

all that plus try a fiber supplement (one you stir the powder into a glass of water or whatever) and avoid dairy and gluten.

**Fondles** · (#71)

psyllium husk doesn't fuck around

injury · (#72)

Wonk saggin

ReackOne · (#73)

demandin update

4x4 · (#74)

The night I drank the coconut milk I shat a bunch of times thru the night. 4am, 7am, 9am etc

But when I woke up yesterday I didn't have complete relief. I felt much better tho.

Today I am in the worst agony yet. Hard to piss and fart. My abdomen is swollen making me look like 10 lbs heavier. Head ache, fever, zero appetite. Even a lil kidney pain which is very worrysome...I'm sore from laying around because it's so painful to do anything else.

Drank about a half (small) bottle of milk of magnesia this morning and afternoon. Been some 'relief' but not enough to sway the discomfort.

Unless all hell breaks loose on the shitter tonight, going to urgent care tomorrow night.

El Vergudo · (#75)

I dunno if this has been mentioned, but there's a diet pill that blocks the body from absorbing oil an grease from fatty foods, so when you take a crap it looks like the Exxon Valdez oil spill. And since you're just passing thru the grease, if you fart, chances are you're going to shit yourself.

I forgot the name of these pills.