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Hey babypuncher good post, and you know either your girlfriend is just really freaky, OR (which is what I'm guessing) she was abused somewhat in the past, and you doing it to her serves as a reinactment to what happened (thus deadening, erasing the pain and dirtiness of it). Maybe she feels that you will make it feel 'OK' for her. I'm not sure, and I could be totally wrong, but I think its up to you to take it up for yourself and find out whats going on in her head...
Best thread in a while. It was interesting reading what others had to say. I really don't have much to add, seeing as though I don't know anyone that's been raped. Well, I'm sure I do, but I'm not aware of them being raped ... ugh.
I can share the emotions of BabyPuncher and others only in imagining what it would be like if my sister or girlfriend were raped. Horrible.
The small difference in strength and weight that men have in comparison to women can do fucked up things to the world.
What would you do if it was your best friend who raped a girl...what would you do....my first reaction would be violence but I think i'd still at somepoint want to talk to them about it and just ask WHY
I've known several girls and women that have been raped, over the years. It has nothing to do with sex, it's all about violence and domination of another person. Men get raped too. The prison rape thing is just the tip of the iceberg, men and boys get raped right out here in society, but almost nobody is willing to admit it.
I knew a young 17-year-old guy that got raped at knifepoint by a black guy he met who offered him some drugs. They smoked a joint on the street and the guy seemed cool, so when he asked the kid "Come on up to my apartment, I got more," the kid went. When they got up there, the guy locked the door (a double-key dead bolt---requires a key on the inside to get out) and pulled a knife. He asked the kid, "What do you want to be--the mama or the papa?" The kid was scared shitless, and said "Neither." The guy jumped on him, put the knife to his throat, pulled down his surf trunks and fucked him in the ass.
When he got back to our house, he was a mess. The guy beat him up pretty good, and he had several superficial knife cuts on his neck.
My buddy G____, who was a Communist, wanted to go waste the guy immediately, but I said "No fucking way." I packed my shit, took my girl and left immediately, hitch hiking north. G____ and his revolutionary buddies could do whatever they wanted, but I was not participating in a pre-meditated murder to revenge the rape of some 17-year-old who was so lame ass that he would get into that situation to start with, and who wouldn't last ten seconds if interrogated by the cops.
I could just see it---the kid would get Youthful Offenders' Camp and the rest of us would wind up on Death Row or in Soledad. FUCK THAT.
I never asked them what they intended to do. I never saw any of them again. If they lit the guy up, I don't want to know about it.
That was in 1972. My girlfriend has since been murdered (in 1989, in Houston,) by her landlord's ex-convict son, stabbed five times in the back, and raped as she bled to death in the hallway of her garage apartment.
You are on your fucking own. Don't you believe for a second that the cops are protecting you. They aren't.
Location: dunno, I can't see and the sound seems to e muffed by thighs
Status: Offline
12-18-2002, 09:34 AM
Well, i was going to sign on under an anonymous screen name, but i think it would be pretty clear it was me anyway. And i also believe that my being in Ireland at the time was an important factor in what happened....
i got my first boyfriend when I was 14, and I was MUCH too young emotionally. I was overwieght and had terrible self esteem, and I felt as if i was in debt to him for even being wih me. I was with him for just under 3 years, during this time he hit me a few times - nothing spectacular. I did everything *but* have sex with him - I developed this obsessive little part of my mind where I just kept repeating to myself that I "wouldn't let him have it".
One day I was drinking and smoking hash with him and some friends in the forest near my house. I got really sick and lay down, fading in and out of conciousness. I vaguely heard him saying something to the effect of "I'll make you feel better.". Everyone was gone suddenly, and I felt a rip which was my underwear being snapped and he tried to force himself inside me. i screamed and he freaked out - bashed my head against a tree. I ran off and climbed a tree.
No one ever said anything about it - he just passed the whole thing off as "she gets really slutty when she drinks...". To be honest, I don't know how far he got into me - I did need stitches in that area from a stick that was accidentally ground into me
We broke up some months later, I still talk to him some times. It's quite clear that's he's not ok mentally - special schooling etc, his father beats him etc... His life has been much harder than mine. Someone should be helping him. I call what happened assault, not rape
I always feel that people treat rape-victims completely wrongly. All they EVER hear is how their life is ruined, how fucked up they will be emotionally from now on. How is this helping? I understand that much worse things than what happened to me occur, but still the focus should be on dealing with it and moving on. I'll admit i'm still uncomfortable around drunk men.
so anyway, please don't give me shit about this ^^^^^^ post, I will simply leave. and I also don't want to hear about how this made me a lesbian, I was bi then, I am bi now. I'd be more than happy to discuss that in a different thread........................
That sucks Bodice, I'm really sorry, even though it's not my place to apologize. No girl/guy deserves that. A person that'd do that to someone has many issues themselves on the inside, I can only imagine.
I have a story now. Let's see... I'm 20 years old now, so this must have been about 7 or 8 years ago. I lived in San Antonio at the time. I had about 3 friends that I used to ride bikes with alot, we were 7th or 8th graders. Anyway, we knew some older kids that rode bikes too. They were better than us we kinda tagged along with them cause they were cool or whatever. One of the older guys lived right next to me in this apartment complex. So after some time I began chilling at his house, and so did the group of friends we were all familiar with the place. We found out later that the guy that he stayed with wasn't really his dad and was a vietnam war vet that had "adopted" our older buddy. I think the older buddy of ours, we'll call him Don from here on, had problems with his family so he got kicked out or whatever and lived with this vietnam vet guy. Then, little by little, stories began getting passed around about how this vet guy was weird and he'd done things to these older friends of ours. Me and my friends didn't think much of it.
As time passed my friends and I spent more and more time over there, the vet guy would buy us gifts and stuff. He was TOO nice. He was a pervert, he touched my friends. I knew that he did, but for some reason I never told anyone, I don't know why. I don't know what else he did to them, they'd spend the night over there, and so would I. But I always slept in the back room. We spent alot of time over there. The vet guy had this wooden model boat. I remember asking him about it and he said he'd made it in prison. It's funny because nobody ever asked him why he was in prison. We also knew that he had a kid of his own. But we never saw his kid, and not much was ever said about him. Well, after this went on for a while, my friend Adam told his mom, whom I was also good friends with, what had been going on. He told her that the guy had been touching him and his friends and he knew it was wrong.
Adam's mom got the police involved. The vet, Charles, had a prestigious job at a local electronics plant. One day while Charles was at work, giving a big speech to a group of people at work, the agents came in right up to the podium and took him away. He went to prison and killed himself a week later by putting a plastic bag over his head and rolling off his bunk to knock himself out. It all happened so blindlingly quick from the time that Adam had told his mom till the time that this "man" that we knew killed himself.
I'm a fucked up person from being around that shit, Charles never touched me, he always told me I was too "paranoid". I can only imagine where and what my old friends are doing today. I hope that by him doing what he did to them it doesn't perpetuate that kind of behavior.
cops are useless this femasle friend of mine's mum works at a childcare centre in jersey and theres this guy who parks his van in front of the centre on occasion and masturbates ........the police were informed but apparently the guy isnt in breach of any laws so nothing can be done....well noithing lawful that is............also i know a cuple of girls who have benn molested both by people close to them when they were young.....one took it well and is pretty normal...she didnt even have trouble telling me he licked her out during time where he was minding her...the other is pretty wierd and despite her being almost twenty now she has never even told her parents........the guy could still be teaching gymnastics for all anyone knows.......also my sisters boyfriend was molested by a prominent political figure when he was young who was the father of one of his friends ......he is 35 now and never told any family so the guy is still around .........i also know of a girl bout 15 who got raped by two guys at her school ....she told her gay dad who didnt care........and continues going to that school.......what im trying to say is that these poeple are constantly getting away with because kids usually find it less painful to just block it out
this thread has definitely made me think about a few things. i agree rape is a most despicable act, the thought of raping someone makes me feel ill.
one thing i found quite interesting in reading all of the responses is that it seems as though the act of rape itself is not what people find so horrible, rather, a man raping a woman. i think i remember someone saying something to the effect of "rapists should get raped," and the idea of men being raped even seems to be the source of some humor. not to say that this isn't somewhat understandable; a big part of the issue of a man raping a woman is in the fact that men, in general, are more powerful than women. maybe this difference in treatment is due to the fact that with a man raping a woman, it's as though the man is deciding he is going to use this strength advantage in such a way as to exploit the woman's weakness. with a man raping another man the issue of a difference in physical strength or power seems to be less exagerated.
kabaar mentioned a case in which a guy raped another guy at knifepoint. i'm not sure if the fact that it was at knifepoint was a crucial issue but it seems like it may have been, as it was probably a way of increasing the power difference to the point where one party was helpless and the other party had complete control.
i'm surprised more people haven't talked about issues like all the priests who have been accused and possibly convicted of molestation. it seems to conform to the situation in which one person has much more power/control over the other.
as far as tearz's raising the issue of thinking about rape from the male perspective, that is, someone who has the power to rape someone else, i don't think i could do that. it seems so completely foul, to think that one person could violate another like that. granted speaking in hypotheticals inevitably distances one from the subject. i know this is going to sound kind of gross, it's not a nice thing to think about, but.. try to imagine it from the perspective of the person 'you would be raping,' it does a lot to 'humanize' the issue and make it...i guess closer to home or something.
i know this is gonna sound kinda played out and cliche/lame but i do think that to some extent things like porno do affect social consciousness.. i'm not gonna go the "it's degrading to women" route, rather i think it probably fucks with men just as much if not more so.. saying or thinking things like "i'd hit it" imply a lack of...something..maybe it's respect, maybe it's empathy or compassion.. but in any event it leads to a situation in which a man or men in general are less likely to think about sexuality as a mutual thing between two people, and more likely to think about it in terms of his/their own needs being met. i guess i kinda am taking the 'porn objectifies women' approach, though i'm not saying i'm above it.. i think the whole thing is a really tricky issue, with a lot of fine lines.
kabaar was right on saying that rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with domination over another person.
ugh i've said way too much now.. but i have to say this is one of the most interesting threads i've seen in a long time.
check this out..like i said..we were the hardest gang in our area...we were running shit in the east bay of cali and we really didnt give a fuck.i grew up in a fucked up nieghborhood..what can i say.."we didnt have a fuckin computer back then"..i moved back to hawaii and thats when my eyes were opened, so fuck off with your "your a buster for not stoppin them" bullshit.back then i didint care for myself let alone some dumb bitches getting raped.
i wasnt going by the name "crazy-8" for nothin..i didnt care for you or myself.so really..willy wonks gota past.dont bring that shit into my future..
all those guys were the best friends that i had ever known..so fuck off suburbia..you dont really know what its like to be me, so dont judge.
i was just postin a situation that i was in..dont think that if i were able to go back and change things..that i wouldnt.
really, i still dont care for those girls...just you poor little fags need to realize some shit.
nothin like a party of about 45 dudes and a couple of girls getting raped..what are you gonna do?
back to if i could change things.........you little faggots..what you want me to lie to make things better?girls get rapped everyday, dont make me the enemy...all my boy knew how i felt about that shit.i wasnt takin drunk girls to my house just to get laid..these girls knew and trusted me.so fuck off.
im filled with hate when i hear of girls getting raped these days...you guys really did piss me off this time..fuck you!
for all you girls that have experiences with rape..im terribly sorry..im only sorry cause i wish i coulda been there to do something.
my life changes every day..experience and bad situations make that change...at least i dint rape them.who knows..i probably woulda ended up in jail or become a crime lords just like the rest of my boys..but no, i took a different route.
life changes..which way are you gonna go?fuckin bitch-ass mutha fuckas..these are th4e times i wish that i could reach on over and strangle your ass for sayin some bullshit like that.act like youre the bigger man.fuck off!
place yourself in my shoes..i guess i really do feel the regret.my regret fills me with hate.but the past is the past.
That story is crazy Kabar. About your girlfriend who was raped and murdered... Were you still dating her when she was murdered? As for the guy who got raped, well that happens and its just as bad as any rape, I just dont have any first hand experience on any man on man rape. ONe of the ex's I had who got raped knew a guy who got raped. He only told her, and yet she was too ashamed to tell him she was raped too (not by the same person, for your information). He wanted to kill himself and he probably ended up doing so.
Depressing times. I really need to get my girl some mace. Dunno where to find it in this country though...
Originally posted by banjo bob one thing i found quite interesting in reading all of the responses is that it seems as though the act of rape itself is not what people find so horrible, rather, a man raping a woman. i think i remember someone saying something to the effect of "rapists should get raped," and the idea of men being raped even seems to be the source of some humor. not to say that this isn't somewhat understandable; a big part of the issue of a man raping a woman is in the fact that men, in general, are more powerful than women. maybe this difference in treatment is due to the fact that with a man raping a woman, it's as though the man is deciding he is going to use this strength advantage in such a way as to exploit the woman's weakness. with a man raping another man the issue of a difference in physical strength or power seems to be less exagerated.
kabaar mentioned a case in which a guy raped another guy at knifepoint. i'm not sure if the fact that it was at knifepoint was a crucial issue but it seems like it may have been, as it was probably a way of increasing the power difference to the point where one party was helpless and the other party had complete control.
i'm surprised more people haven't talked about issues like all the priests who have been accused and possibly convicted of molestation. it seems to conform to the situation in which one person has much more power/control over the other.
as far as tearz's raising the issue of thinking about rape from the male perspective, that is, someone who has the power to rape someone else, i don't think i could do that. it seems so completely foul, to think that one person could violate another like that. granted speaking in hypotheticals inevitably distances one from the subject. i know this is going to sound kind of gross, it's not a nice thing to think about, but.. try to imagine it from the perspective of the person 'you would be raping,' it does a lot to 'humanize' the issue and make it...i guess closer to home or something.
great post. i want to talk about the stuff above, but or now i have to run so i'll just address the latter part- the rapee is in most cases humanized- you often hear the macho man say "think if that were your sister." (not to minimize this at all) the rapist is never humanized, so nobody can ever relate to him...causing a man to push himself away from, or not see any of those potentially toxic shared attributes between himself and a rapist. that's my point, everybody is against rape right? just like everybody is against racism. but people still get raped, and at a high rate. and no one here can relate.
i'm beginning to understand what you mean, and i feel like i started to say something about it in my last post, but not in depth. i think one 'reason' (not justification though) someone might be able to stand raping another person comes from a desensitized view of sexuality as a mutual thing.
the reason i mentioned porn is because a lot of guys have responses to it that suggest a sort of lack of empathy or feeling for the women involved. i've heard of guys saying they like to watch porn but would never want to do any of the things they see with someone they care about. what i take from this is that watching a random girl have sex (or seeing something similar) provokes no response on an emotional level because there is no emotional connection. if there is no emotional connection then it is inevitable that there will be less (if not no) respect involved.
i guess what i'm saying is that men are exposed to lots of representations of women that lack any kind of empathic facet.. i think that a consequence of this is that men tend to regard women in general (at least those they don't know) as objects of sorts. when you see a porno there's no attempt made at depicting the women as people with lives, fears, interests, goals, etc.. basically all that stuff that makes you empathize with someone and regard them as human.
of course what i'm saying is a huge generalization, and i'm not sure how coherent it is, but it's kind of an attempt to understand how a seemingly 'normal' person might be capable of something so horrible.
ahhhh i can't really think right now.. all-nighters and term papers make me tired.. i'll try to expand on this later though.
i wish i had the time to read through all of this, but unfortunately i do not right now..
i will add to the discussion that the majority of female sex workers (even in the u.s.) have been the victims of sexual assaults at some point(s) in their lives
i know several women who have been rape victims, most of them went on to become strippers and/or prostitutes.
I was once sitting on a bus with all my friends,when a very close mate mate of mine got a phone call from his girlfriend,saying that she had been attacked in the street by a guy who tried to rape her.He[the peice of shit] had her down on the ground,when supposedly a man heard her screams and came to the rescue.She is a lovely girl and the thought of anything bad happening made me stunned.
Rape/date rape is more common than people, particularly men really realize. True, women ar ashamed and embarassed to report it or tell anyone about it. Too many women are made out to think it was their fault, they deserve it, or that they asked for it. My first actual sexual experience was more of a date rape than anything and I kept that a secret for years, but fuck that! If I ever see him he's in for it one way or another. I keep hearing rumors, that this asshole I went out with raped a girl and it just makes me sick to my stomache. If anyone ever hurt my sister or mom I will seriously kill!
Rape is far worse than etch. It makes you ten times more of an asshole, NEVER do it. And if you think about doing it, put yourself in the person's shoes that you would be doing it to. Think about if someone you didn't want to overpowered you and had their way... you wouldn't like it.
This is a great post. It's nice to see people talking about a serious topic and not really resorting to juvenile remarks.
Regarding the guy above who's girlfriend is into rough sex and "rape" role play. You should talk to your girl to see if there is a problem in the background, but there may be another explanation. From how you described her my guess would be that she grew up in a conservative environment with a good dose of religion thrown in. Many times girls that are taught that sex is dirty or bad look for coping mechanisms to deal with their desires. In other words, girl gets horny and the hormones are flowing, she wants to have sex right...but she has been taught that this is bad and she should not feel this way...if the sex is rough and like a "rape" she can enjoy the act without the guilt because it isn't her that's being bad, she was forced. Does that make any sense?
this guy is the type id really like to punch in the face, read his points about whats going to happen to him...
Student drugged with GHB
Defendent accused of attempted rape, date-rape druggings
By Michelle Burhenn
Kansan staff writer
A University of Kansas student charged with drugging three students and attempting to rape one of them told **** County District Court Judge Peggy Kittel that he understood his charges.
“I´m a teacher — that´s my life,” Michael D. Carpenter, **** sophomore, told Kittel as she set his bond Friday. “I know that this looks bad on paper.”
Carpenter, a 21-year-old coach and paraprofessional for **** Public Schools, was charged with attempted rape, slipping gamma hydroxybutyric acid (GH to three female students, possession of the drug and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Carpenter, who lives at 800 Murrow Court, appeared in court via teleconference from **** County Jail. As Kittel read his charges, he repeated the maximum penalty three times.
Carpenter said he was trying to comprehend the charges and possible penalties.
Attempted rape carries a maximum penalty of 247 months — more than 20 years — in a state penitentiary. Kittel set his bond at $25,000. He was released after posting bond late Friday.
Two charges of reckless aggravated battery were dropped Friday because the affidavit did not include that two of the girls were injured in a car accident after they were drugged Thursday. Assistant District Attorney Brad Burke said he expected to refile those charges today at Carpenter´s preliminary hearing.
Police were dispatched to **** Memorial Hospital after one of the three women tested positive for the date-rape drug while being treated after an injury accident.
The women told police that they thought they had been drugged sometime between 2 and 3 a.m. Thursday, and a man at a Lawrence residence tried to rape one of the women. Police were still waiting for the other two tests results Friday, said Sgt. Mike Pattrick of the Lawrence Police Department.
Lawrence police arrested Carpenter Thursday as he was leaving his residence. Police found liquid forms of GHB in Carpenter´s vehicle.
GHB, which is typically known as the date-rape drug, comes in both a liquid and a powder form, said Cathy Thrasher, pharmacist at Watkins Memorial Health Center. The drug is commonly slipped into alcohol because the victim often becomes incapable of resisting sexual advances. Mixing GHB with alcohol also increases its effects.
“It works just like alcohol,” Thrasher said. “It´s hard for them to know what´s going on.”
12-18-2002, 07:58 AM
........
to three female students, possession of the drug and possession of drug paraphernalia. 
