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My Masturbation
Masturbation Stories from ONE THOUSAND Real People
Female Masturbation
Foam Ball
Male Masturbation
Vibrators - Clit (23)
Clit - Rubbing (21)
Pillows (17)
Tbrush - Clit (13)
Hairbrush (13)
Grinding (12)
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Stop & Go (5)
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Vibe - Homemade (4)
Wet & Messy (3)
While Driving (15)
Pocket Pussy
Rabbit Vibrator
Nerf turf
I cut a slit into the end of an old Nerf football. I just stick a condom on, lube it up real well, and I start pumping the football. It feels really good.
Like the real thing!
You know those stress balls (same material as the keyboard wrist rest)? Get one of those and open it and make the inside a little hollow. Make it so that your dick can fit into it when you stretch it. Then lube the inside (I use my spit) and start stroking! Mine looks a lot like a vagina. I love this!
Cup and balls
Use a big plastic cup, like from baseball games. Put either 3 soft foam balls or 3 balled-up pairs of socks in the mouth of the cup. Put some hand lotion in 2 plastic bags, then put one over the other over your penis; then push your penis in the middle of the 3 balls. You can thrust in the cup if you can hold it down on something, or move it with your hand, but the most amazing is to twirl it back and forth on the hand of your penis until you come. It's like a very wet blow job.
Nice set-up
The best method I've discovered for hot masturbation is this: I went to a fabric/crafts store and got a block of foam rubber. I used a pair of scissors and an Exacto knife to bore a hole through the center of the foam block. Then I put a large Ziploc bag into the hole, so the end was hanging out, and the opening was folded back over the edges of the foam. I remove the top drawer of my dresser and wedge the foam block into the hole. It holds it perfect and doesn't move! Then I lube up my cock and slide it into the hole. I'm able to pump and pump until I have the most amazing orgasms! Then I can just throw the bag away and use the foam again later. A few times I also wedged a long handle bath brush under the foam block, and positioned it to rub against the underside of my balls as I pump. This was amazing!
When I get horny, I rub my dick in a wet and warm towel!!! Use thick cotton towels only and press both hands around it (and pump)!
Wet and messy
Get one of those socks that only go up to your ankles (cotton is best), and fill it with warm pudding, shaving cream, or whatever, then put it on your cock and have at it. I'm into WAM (wet and messy) stuff, so I fill up three socks so I can put one on each of my feet too (in the bathtub). I usually use liquid soap or shampoo on my feet. Massaging your slippery foot really feels good.
Milky smooth goodness
I love to masturbate. What I like is BIG Women. The likes of Anna Nicole Smith. I watch her nude pics on my computer. First I make my self a glass of milkshake. And then I sit in front of my computer and take some of the milk shake in my left hand (don't use both hands it gets messy). Use your index finger and thumb to encircle ZORRO and while sitting keep both your thighs together so that your balls are jammed against the back of your penis and with the milk shake as your lubricant. Whoa! You must be thinking what happens to the rest of the milk shake. Well…drink it.
Pig pen
I usually masturbate with mud! I got some from my backyard. It was wet and soft and I stuck my dick inside. Feels great!
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hahahaha!!! thats great!!! we used to do that in the BIG fountains (like in bellagio) in vegas, with powdered laundry detergent, wed poke holes in the box, then chuck em in the water... made paper quite a few times... even works for jacuzzis too... LOLz...
i'll smack the fuckin molder teeth out your mouth. Graffiti while shopping,yes ,you can . 12ozprophet wanted the eyeballs.....Bob Luby 4 lyfe. Dont knock crack till you tried it. 200CARROTS
i'll smack the fuckin molder teeth out your mouth. Graffiti while shopping,yes ,you can . 12ozprophet wanted the eyeballs.....Bob Luby 4 lyfe. Dont knock crack till you tried it. 200CARROTS
innecesario = unnecessary
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(el) servicio = service
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(la) injusticia = injustice / unfairness
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instalar = install
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(la) ferretería = hardware store / shop
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¡qué pena! = What a pity / shame!
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(la) anatomía = anatomy
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suicidarse = commit suicide
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(el) suicidio = suicide
HANG YOURSELF IN FRONT OF YA MOMS CRIB ON HER BIRTHDAY.
BEST GIFT SHE COULD GET. - MERO
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|PORKCHOP EXPRESS| ||'|";, ___.
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"(@)'(@)"""''"**|(@)(@)*****''(@)
Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."
Re: The Nonsense thread -
06-21-2009, 09:07 PM
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