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|PORKCHOP EXPRESS| ||'|";, ___.
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"(@)'(@)"""''"**|(@)(@)*****''(@)
Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."
How long you think you'll do it?
"Till I'm finished."
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"about a few weeks to a month ago, i was leaving my friends by walking through this bigass empty parking lot thats been put out of service. i had eaten nothing all day except one huge meal with soup, chicken, etc before leaving his place. about 4/5ths of the way through said parking lot, i had the worst pre-shart pains & a badly churning stomach in general... it couldnt wait. i made sure nobody was around, then took off my nice pants & boxers to make sure they wouldnt get any accidental velocity/running stains in the process.. then let it rip. it was one of the runs ive ever dealt with; loud farts as shit came splattering out at every possible angle, almost exactly like in the WOW episode of south park where cartmans mom caught his diarrhea. as i threw away the second sock after making sure i was stain-free, still squatting - it started raining hard. i took a flick of this inconvenient, eventful shit. ill post it later tonight in the pies thread - been meaning to drop one for a while, but been lazy " quoted
Sitting here during happy hour, drinking by myself on my birthday weekend, listening to some below average Asian chicks next to me talking about their below average Asian dudes, with their above average salary makes me wanna shut them up somehow. Their voice is annoying.
My very first pistol was a cap and ball Colt
Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow
Loads a mite slow and i soon found out
It can get you into trouble but it can't get you out
So then I went and bought myself a Colt 45
Called a peacemaker but I never knew why
Never knew why, I didn't understand
Cause Mama said the pistol is the devil's right hand
"We realized that hamsters are actually mice with afros. People think they're pets, and have them in their houses, but the reality is, a hamster, a gerbil, a guinea pig - all those are, is rats with fur coats on. It's the same thing. You wanna act like it's not what it is... If you think I'm joking, just let him loose in your house and see if he doesn't burrow in to the wall, and start doing rat-like things." - Charlie Murphy
Re: The Nonsense thread -
06-29-2012, 04:44 PM
