I'm going to be the nice guy here, and say this really isn't the place to be posting your stuff. If you haven't noticed, the title of the thread is "Best of Blackbook Outlines." Now, skimming through, you should have noticed Ghost, Style, and Decy post their vintage/all-around king Blackbook sketches *hint hint*
I know you want your work critiqued, but doing something like this will ignite a shitstorm of malice, and false judgment set against yourself [similar to setting foot in unwanted grounds]. Trust me, you don't want that label.
I would highly recommend posting in threads where your work is generally appropriate, and accepted; not in almost every thread [which you have done with this sketch].
Kudos to you; it's a great sketch, but still respect what needs to be respected around here.