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how to have sex amish style

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by kodak, Oct 10, 2002.

  1. kodak

    kodak 12oz Member

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    how to have sex amish style

    Discussion started by kodak - Oct 10, 2002

    Turn off all the lights in your house. The Amish have no electricity, which means every sexual encounter takes place by romantic candlelight.

    Wear plain, modest clothing, which covers up most of your body. All the more to intensify the feeling of discovery when the clothing comes off. With the revealing fashions many women wear today, there is no surprise when the clothing comes off, and thus, it is less of a turn-on.

    Purchase some farm animals to keep around your yard. The Amish are constantly around farm animals that are reproducing. This reinforces the fact that sex is natural and that man is a sexual animal as well.

    Regularly read the Bible, a book which encourages a healthy sex life between husband and wife.

    Turn off all radios and TVs. Hide any movies or mainstream newspapers or magazines — so there’s no comparison between the “perfect” media fantasy people and your own romantic partner.

    Buy a butter churn. When you see your partner churning away, it’ll be an erotic sight that you won’t soon forget.
     
    kodak - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  2. sneak

    sneak Guest

    sneak - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    freak
     
  3. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Guest

    duh-rye-won - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    no condoms either

    i don't think amish fuck unless they tryin to make babies.
    that weird al video was funny.
     
  4. destroya

    destroya 12oz Senior Member

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    destroya - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    kodak is a nut. :nut:
     
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  5. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT 12oz Legend

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    Dirty_habiT - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    You wouldn't have electricity for tv's or radio's. Besides, Amish ladies have beards.

    This would kick ass if it didn't suck.
     
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  6. seppuku

    seppuku 12oz Member

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    seppuku - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    read that again buddy..
    he's telling us, people who live in houses with electricity, how to have sex amish style.
    turn off the lights, tv, radio, etc..
    get it?
    it's not so difficult.
     
    seppuku - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  7. Smart

    Smart Moderator Crew

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    Smart - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    I fuck bitches Menonite stylee....
     
    Smart - Rank: Moderator Crew - Messages:
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  8. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT 12oz Legend

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    Dirty_habiT - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    What's electricity? No, if you really wanna do it Amish style, throw your fuckin T.V. off the stairs. Good try though.

    I'm talkin Al Queda style.
     
    Dirty_habiT - Rank: 12oz Legend - Messages:
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  9. Smart

    Smart Moderator Crew

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    Smart - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    I don't think anyone here is interested in fucking a dead goat in a cave, of course, alot of y'all suprise me sometimes...
     
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  10. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT 12oz Legend

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    Dirty_habiT - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    with romantic torch light?
     
    Dirty_habiT - Rank: 12oz Legend - Messages:
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  11. DOLR....LED

    DOLR....LED 12oz Member

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    DOLR....LED - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    hahahaha..........
     
    DOLR....LED - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  12. Kettiecat

    Kettiecat 12oz Senior Member

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    Kettiecat - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    dirt habit you'd have sex amish style is i asked you to


    ::give sexy come here baby look:::
     
    Kettiecat - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  13. SMUGGLER RSH

    SMUGGLER RSH Guest

    SMUGGLER RSH - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    Who would want to have sex Amish fantasy style....I bet all they do is recite the prayers while fucking and then all they can think about is when they will next be in church....
     
  14. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT 12oz Legend

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    Dirty_habiT - Replied Oct 10, 2002

    torch light dinner of cave geckos/bats/rodents.... afterwards bearded man stares longily into shifty bearded lady's "take me right now in this cave and shuck me raw baby yeah" eyes, followed by the bearded clam surprise. Wooo, I need to go dry off.
     
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  15. Kettiecat

    Kettiecat 12oz Senior Member

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    Kettiecat - Replied Oct 11, 2002

    sounds romantic when are you going to pick me up?



    play on.
     
    Kettiecat - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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