Why are you so quiet?
The girl Bom-ba asked me, chewing gum. I looked at her. As beautiful as she was, she was still hard looking with nicks and scars scattered about on her face. Tell tale signs of her hard knock Newark existence. I just met her the hour before with her man, Hector. It took discipline not to stare at her, but I made the effort because I didn’t want to get into any beef with dude. I knew Hector from Bordentown and as cool as he seemed, I knew he was moody, unpredictable and shady. I was in his town, Newark, New Jersey. Ever since Coney Island I made it a point not to get into beef in foreign land.
That’s just how he is for now. Wait until you get to know him. He won’t shut up. Eddie answered Bom-ba for me.
I gave Eddie a dirty look.
Nigga, what? You know it’s true!
Yeah, Psycho never shuts up! Hector couldn’t wait to chime in. Nigga was always talking about what he was going to do when he got out. Everyday he was going to do something different! What are you going to do this week, huh? Become an airplane pilot or some shit? He laughed his stupid laugh.
Just because he had a smile on his face, doesn’t mean he wasn’t trying to play me. I did what was best and remained quiet.
What have you doing since you got out? Hector wanted to know.
I work at the Moma.
Moma? What the hell is that?
That’s the Museum of Modern Art. Eddie informed him.
Hector nodded like he was impressed.
You’re not clocking at all? Hector asked.
I shook my head no. Hector laughed as if I told the funniest joke he’s ever heard.
Those five years broke your ass! Hector said. Some niggas can’t do time. You’re one of them, Psycho. You’re just too soft.
In the five and a half years I spent at Bordentown, Hector was in and out three different times. He liked to pretend that he was proud of the fact that he couldn’t care less whether he was incarcerated or enjoying freedom in society. His eyes said something else during the times he laid in his bunk for hours.
I looked at my watch. Eddie’s curfew at the half way house was soon. Eddie looked at my face. He knew I was annoyed.
Chill. Psycho’s getting mad.
I glared at Eddie. Why did he have to go and say that for?
What the fuck? I’m just playing. Go ahead with that sensitive shit! Hector said with crazy eyes.
He wanted beef. I hate to admit that I was afraid of Hector. He was a strong, crazy kid who didn’t give a fuck. He reminded me of myself when I was an angry teenager. The only difference was that at 25, he was a man and this was his true character, not some adolescence angst phase he was going through. I knew he sensed my fear and got off on it. He was stupid though. He mistook fear for being pussy. He didn’t know that because it was that I was afraid of him, I would not hesitate to resort to biting half his face off if it ever came down to it. Eddie knew what I was capable of. When we were 15, we got into a drunken fist fight and was beating the shit out of me. Not only was Eddie twice my size but my right arm was broken and in a cast. Eddie was too intoxicated to have any compassion and once I saw the crazed look in his eyes, I got scared. Fortunately, the scar on Eddie’s jaw suits him well and gives him a sense of character. We made up the next sober morning and I had to buy him endless two liter bottles of Pepsi for two weeks.
You mad? Hector asked, staring at me hard in the eyes.
I stared at him back, forging indifference. Nah, I’m okay.
I thought so!
My ears grew warm and anger was warming up inside of me..
Leave him alone, Hector! Bom-ba jumped in. You’re always starting shit. What the fuck?
Why don’t you shut the fuck up! Hector snapped at her.
Fuck you, nigga! Don’t start showing off in front of your friends, cause you know what time it is!
Eddie calmly observed. Even though he was boys with Hector, I had no doubt that he had my back if absolutely necessary. Hector knew Eddie and I fought a lot and didn’t like each other at times, so it was understandable that he underestimated his loyalty to me.
Fuck this shit! Hector snapped, looking crazy as he scanned the diner for the waitress.
Where’s our food!
I took the opportunity to slide my fork off the table and clenched it tight on top of my lap. I chose the fork instead of the knife because the idea of five prongs going into his eye appealed to me much more than just a knife. I dared Hector in my mind to get too crazy for my comfort. Eddie caught this. I hutched my shoulders and looked at him innocently as to telepathically tell him, what do you want me to do?
What time is it? He asked. I think I want to go back to the half way house early.
Hector looked at his watch. Why? Chill. You still got almost a whole hour!
Then it registered to him.
You’re leaving because of Psycho? I’m just playing! Okay, I’ll leave him alone. Hector said, smirking at me with snake eyes.
Leave me alone? I repeated in disbelief in my thoughts. My own eyes were going crazy now. Rage was drowning out fear and evil was talking to me. Don’t you know I’m going to take your life in front of your bitch, you fucking moron?
Hector and I locked eyes. Hector blinked first. Then he smiled his fake smile.
It’s all good! Right Psycho?
Fucking sociopath, I thought.
He extended his hand. I put the fork back on the table. I thought it was only right to give him fair warning what kind of creature he was dealing with. The gesture went over his head. Hector never failed to surprise me to how stupid he was. I gave him my hand. He gave me a limp, meaningless handshake. I pulled away fast, letting his hand drop. He caught this and looked at me. I smiled. The idea of causing him to wear a patch over one eye for the rest of his life amused me.
The food arrived. Hector gave the harsh looking waitress attitude. We ate in tense silence.
The Museum of Modern Art, isn’t that some white shit? Bom-ba asked.
Stupid bitch was all that I could think.
Psycho’s half white. Eddie said. Thanks again, I thought.
Yeah, Psycho’s a fake Puerto Rican! He don’t even speak Spanish? Hector couldn’t wait to add.
You don’t speak Spanish? Bom-ba asked surprised. That’s fucked up!
I shrugged.
You’re cute for a white boy though! Bom-ba flirted. I looked at her. She had on fuck eyes. She licked her lips. As fine as she was, she wasn’t any prize, especially when she opened her mouth. She sounded like she was raised in a sewer. I still wondered about her and Hector. He was average looking at the very best. I was curious about what she saw in him.
I looked away. My adrenalin had started to subside and I didn’t want to start any shit all over again.
What’s the matter, Pa-pa? I intimidate you?
I looked at Hector like he ought to put his girl in check. She must have read my mind.
It’s okay. Hector and I have an understanding.
Yeah, I understand that you’re a hoe! Hector said laughing.
Whoa! I thought to myself. I recalled from Bordentown that Hector had a bad attitude towards women. He considered them a necessary evil and expected the worst from them.
The check came and Hector insisted on paying for everybody. Not out of generosity of course, but to pretend to be a big shot. He made a small show out of counting the money to pay out of his knot. He must have had at least a thousand dollars, but claimed that he was broke. What a dick! I thought.
I watched Bom-ba as she got up. She had a world class ass. Her jeans were so tight that you could make out the outline of her puffy pussy. Hector caught me looking and grinned this.
When we stepped outside the diner, the autumn air caused her nipples to become hard. They pointed to the sky through her thin wine V neck sweater. We agreed that we were going to drop Eddie off at the half-way house.
I’m horny. Bom-ba announced. Hector shook his head and laughed at this.
This bitch is crazy! Hector announced, smiling at me. His demeanor seemed to be genuinely changing for the better. I pegged him as a Gemini.
Eddie whispered that Bom-ba was a freak like I couldn’t figure it out for myself.
What? I’m keeping it real. I want some dick! Bom-ba continued on.
Why was she talking like this? I wondered. I thought she was way too beautiful to be so crude and vulgar. I wished that she could be quiet while I could still at least appreciate her looks.
Yo, because you’re white, does that mean you have a little dick? She asked me.
I ignored the question, thinking what a stupid bitch once again.
Answer me! She demanded.
I’m not gonna front! I got a little dick! Hector volunteered, trying to be funny.
Bom-ba stared at me. Well?
I don’t want to brag. I responded, successfully keeping a straight face.
I don’t like them too big. I don’t wanna stretch my shit out, you know. I got to keep it tight.
Was she actually saying this? Or was I imagining things. Eddie whispered, I told you she was a freak!
Hector laughed at me. Look at Psycho! Bom-ba’s fucking his head up! This is how we get down in Newark!
Word? I said, not knowing what else to say.
We got to the half way house and said our good-byes to Eddie. I felt bad to see him go into the house. I wanted him to go back to Washington Heights with me. Even though he had on a strong face, I could see in his eyes that he wanted the same. It was a rare day when Eddie didn’t piss me off, but it was just as rare that I stayed mad at him for more than half an hour. We watched him go inside.
Which way is the PATH from here? I asked Hector.
Hold up! Where you’re going? He asked, surprised.
I got to go! I responded almost before he could finish asking.
Talk to that nigga, Hector. Bom-ba demanded.
Come on, Psycho. Let’s hang out. I haven’t seen you since Bordentown. What’s the rush?
Because your happy go lucky ass mood might last for another ten minutes and I don’t have a fork on me. I thought to myself.
I got to wake up early to go to work in the morning.
He pulled me to the side. For the first time, Bom-ba looked vulnerable as she watched the conversation, trying to read every word that was being spoken.
Bom-ba wants to fuck you bad. Look at her. How are you going to front on that?
I looked at Bom-ba. She offered me a faint smile. Her eyes said please don’t say no. She seemed to soften up by the second. I looked at her body. I’ve never been with a woman as physically hot as she was. She gave Vida a run for her money, except that she was much prettier. I convinced myself that she wasn’t that bad.
She walked up to me and stood about an inch away from me. I could feel warmth coming off of her. She ran the tip of her nose down my cheek to my neck. Her hand cupped my crotch and squeezed. This did it for me.
What’s up? Hector grinned.
I looked at Bom-ba and she pouted at me. My heart rate jumped up thirty beats.
Don’t be scared, Daddy. I’m here for you. You could do anything you want to me.
Let’s go! I announced enthusiastically.
Hector smiled and slapped me five. I wondered why he was so happy that I was going to fuck his girl. Fucking freak, I thought.
Bet! We’re going to pick up an eight ball from my crib and I’ll buy a few bottles of Cristal and we’ll head to this telly that overlooks the river. We’re going to have a good old time tonight.
We? I asked, confused.
Hector’s crazy eyes came back, just that fast.
Yeah motherfucker! What do you think? I’m going to let you fuck my girl without me?
I attended several gang bangs in Junior High School, but strictly as a fully clothed voyeur. At every gang-bang there was always one kid who would eat the pussy and it was usually the fifth kid in line. Did Hector want to watch? What if he wanted to jerk off to me fucking Bom-ba? That would be too weird for me.
What are we going to do? I almost didn’t want to hear the answer.
Everything!
Everything?
Yeah, you know, I’ll fuck her while she sucks your dick.
Then what are we going to do? I thought. Give each other a high five? Nah.
I just stared at Hector, not believing the situation I was in.
Then we’re going to double penetrate her. She loves that shit. I’ll even let you get the ass. And yo, she doesn’t fuck with that condom bullshit. You can hit it raw. Shit feels mad good.
Hector stimulated fuck movements.
Double penetrate? I never heard of it before, but it the name was self explanatory. That’s even weirder. I thought.
Come on, let’s go! Hector said charged up.
How was I going to break this to him without him catching feelings? Impossible. Here we go again, I thought, feeling my cortisone levels raise. I felt as I drained my adrenalin for the day.
Hector. I really don’t get down like that.
Hector snapped. What the fuck do you mean you don’t get down like that? Look at her!
I did and I did want to fuck her….bad. I considered it for two seconds. Hell no! I didn’t even like guys talking to me while taking a piss in public urinals, what made me think I’ll be able to go through with something like this. My dick would swivel up inside my stomach with every right to.
Like I said, I don’t get down like that.
Are you gay?
On the contrary, I think it’s kind of gay to have my cock and balls less than an inch away from your cock and balls, clacking away like two click-clacks. Once again, I best kept my thoughts to myself.
I’m not trying to offend you. It’s just not my thing.
Fuck that nigga, Hector! Bom-ba transformed back to her hard, nasty self. He’s afraid of this pussy. He can’t handle it. White boy!
You’re a fag! Hector informed me.
Motherfucker can’t handle this pussy! Bom-ba repeated herself.
Get the fuck out of here! I never liked your punk ass anyway.
Stupid White boy! Bom-ba added.
I turned and walked the opposite direction from them at a brisk pace. Hector kicked me in the ass. Motherfucker! Adrenalin surged through me. I turned, ready to kill.
What motherfucker?
Hector lifted up his shirt and pulled out a nine miler meter handgun on me.
I stay strapped, nigga! Hector said as he looked around to see if it whether it was feasible or not to shoot me. It was. He took out the gun, cocked it and aimed at my head.
Hector! Bom-ba screamed. She ran to him and hugged him, kissing him on his neck and face.
Chill Papi. He’s not worth it. I don’t want you going back in. I just got out, Papi.
I found myself frozen when Bom-ba screamed at me.
Get the fuck out of here already, you stupid ass motherfucker!
I did. Once I got back to Manhattan, I decided to go to my boy Juice Tc5’s house. I have never been much of a weed smoker, but I needed to smoke a blunt or two. No matter how many undesirable experiences I’ve encountered, there’s really just no getting used to them. I told Juice everything that had happen before.
Whoa money. That’s ill. His eyelids half closed from being high from a previous blunt he smoked before I got there. Thank God, you’re alright though.
What about that? I ranted on. Motherfucker wanted me to fuck his girl in the ass while he fucks her in the pussy. That’s some disgusting shit!
That’s some homo shit!
My eyes lit up.
It is! Right? That’s some secret homo shit for real.
Yeah, money. What do you think? That dude is just using the girl as an excuse to get next to some dick.
I knew it! I said like I’ve been newly enlighten.
Juice laughed at me like I was retarded.
That weekend I went back to Juice’s house. His little cousin David was there with his beautiful girlfriend Monica, both from New Jersey. We did the usual, drank, smoke and talked shit. At one point, conversation came to a stall.
Yo money, tell David and Monica about what that nigga that pulled out on you caused you wouldn’t get down with him and his girl. Juice said giggling. He looked at David. Yo, this story is crazy!
As I rehashed the story, I noticed that Monica looked perplexed as soon as I mentioned the name Bom-ba, not the most common name in the world. When I got to the part when Hector made his proposal, Monica anxiously interrupted me.
Psycho! Tell me that you didn’t!
I didn’t.
For real, Psycho! You didn’t, right? Please tell me that you didn’t!
Monica, no! I didn’t. I promise you.
Monica looked relieved.
Yo, that girl has AIDS. Her kids have it, her whole family has AIDS. They’re famous in Newark.
David, Juice and I said “Oh shit!” in almost perfect unison.
Word? It took a few more seconds to fully register. Damm. How do you know?
Because my friend Denise works at the clinic she goes to. She’s a crack head prostitute! She likes to stick dudes up too. That girl is vicious. Don’t fuck with her, man.
But she looks so healthy.
That’s only because she just got out of jail a few weeks ago. She’s already sniffing coke. She’ll be smoking crack in no time soon. That girl’s mad nasty. She’s the biggest whore! Monica shivered.
I thought about Bom-ba, the toxic beauty from hell. The revelation fucked my blunt high up big time. I thought about how many lives I had left. Not that many at all. Perhaps maybe it was time to really slow down and be a little bit more cautious with my life? On second thought, whatever is going to be is simply going to be. Fuck that shit.
Posted on December 13, 2007 at 06:08 PM | Comment (9 comments)
