"Why are you disrespecting me?” The jheri curled, pock marked, self proclaimed pimp questioned me.
“Because you always asking for cigs and I don’t smoke. And plus, you’re a fake ass pimp! Now get out my face.”
I was 19 years old and it’s safe to assume that I had a little bit of an attitude. I was locked up in a dirty county jail in Hackensack, New Jersey and I was facing up to twenty years. I was permanently pissed.
“You’re gonna watch how you talk to me, New York.” Pimp warned me.
“Who the fuck are you? I vamp motherfuckers like you.”
I said that a lot. Pimp was in his 40’s and my arrogance allowed me to underestimate his street experience. To me, he was nothing but a silly, amusing man who talked a lot of shit about having a lot of hoes and smacking them up whenever they stepped out of line. In jail, anybody can tell you anything and it’s usually not the truth. Ironically, all the inmates liked to say “Word is born!” after every sentence. This was to stress that they were indeed telling the truth. But in a place full of drug addicts, theives and perverts, how can the truth live? It doesn’t. To me, “Pimp” was most likely to be a strung out crack head than a real, live authetic, pimp out of an old Robert Deniro movie.
“You ain’t vamping a motherfucker!”
“You don’t even know who I am! I’m Psycho-Rock! Tc5...the Vamp Squad, motherfucker!”
Pimp looked confused for a few seconds.
“What the hell you talking about? It doesn’t matter anyway, cause you ain’t saying nothing slick to a big black dick!”
“Don’t be talking no dick shit to me. I’ll kill you.”
Pimp and I squared off. Both of us had on state issued boxer shorts on. I slid the waistband over to the side. I didn’t want my penis to flop out the slit while I was fighting. That would distract me. Pimp had skinny muscular arms and a big, hard looking belly.
“I was in the Golden Gloves!”
“Fuck the-----
Pimp caught me with a right straight followed by a left hook and then an upper cut. Oh shit! I thought as I saw stars and my knees started to buckle. I was rocked and did the only thing I could to do to keep from dropping on the floor. I grabbed on to Pimp. I took in a deep breath, knowing that I had to recover quickly. I saw the separation between his ribs through his skin and dug four straight, stiff fingers in between them like a knife and pushed and pushed until he yelled. Backing away from me.
“You fake ass pimp! I’m going to fuck you up!”
I ran and kicked at his belly, but Pimp was too fast and grabbed my leg in mid air and tripped the other one. I banged the back of my head on the marble floor. It hurt. I realized that I was about to get my ass kicked by a some crack head wanna-bee pimp. I started to regret that I ever disrespected the dude in the first place. He kicked me in the chest while I was down on the floor. He cocked his leg back and was going to kick me again. I snatched his foot as it made contact on my shoulder. At first I didn’t know what to do with his foot, but knew I had to do something. I bit him on his calf. It tasted like baby oil and I was disgusted that I had my mouth on this man, but it was better than getting beat up. As he screamed, I managed to knock him backwards and climbed on top of him.
“Now what, Pimp?”
‘You think you beat me?” He blurted out as he reached up and clap his hands on my ears. I thought he busted my eardrums because all I could hear was a ringing noise. It hurt a lot, but not enough to stop me. It pissed me off and fueled me. It’s funny because different types of pain can do that to a man. When in battle, one should always choose wisely on what type of pain he inflicts. However, not too many men can withstand a direct, hard shot to the bridge of the nose. It just makes you see white lights, cry involuntarily and puts you into a state of minor shock. It stops the hardest of men in their tracks.
I punched straight down at Pimp’s nose, imagining that I would punch through it and into the floor and it showed as soon as I lifted my fist up from his face. Pimp’s nose was now flattened and distorted. The fight was over, but I had to make sure.
“I got that?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure? Don’t make me punch you again.”
“I said you got that!”
“You better not try anything.”
“I won’t.”
“Okay.” I got off of Pimp and checked out my damage. I felt proud, but at the same time I felt bad for Pimp. I went to my bunk and got a towel out my locker. Pimp was already in the lavatory when I got there. He was looking in the mirror. I wet the towel and gave it to him.
“You fucked my pretty face all up. What am I gonna tell my hoes?”
“Sorry!” I said, trying to keep a straight face.
The next day, Pimp was released on bail. Instead of being grateful, he complained that his hoes took too long in getting the money to bail him out and that he was going to fuck them up. We made eye contact as he walked out the gate. He gave me the peace sign.
“I’ll see you in New York, homey.”
I didn’t take him seriously. A week later, my $150, 000 bail was reduced to 80, 000 and I was released with the help of a bails bond man. A few weeks later, I was walking around the Times Square area with my girlfriend Laura. My days of freedom were numbered and she was already turning on me, having indiscreet affairs with other guys. I took a tag with a white Pentel marker.
“Put me up, asshole!” She demanded.
“Fuck you. You can’t be up with me anymore. You suck too many other dicks for that.”
“That’s alright. I’m still down with Tc5 though.”
“You’re stupid. You could never be down with the Five anymore.”
“Seen put me down.”
“Only because you were were down with me. How stupid can you be, you stupid bitch?”
“I’m not the one going to jail, asshole!”
All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice. “New York! New York!” I turned and Pimp was walking out of a Western Union. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Pimp was actually a real pimp, decked out in a cheesey lime greem suit and derby.
“Oh shit! Pimp, you’re a real pimp!”
He had two women with him, both obviously prostitutes. One was black and the other was Puerto Rican. I never ever thought that street hookers looked good, but these two were definitely fuckable. They were both endowed with world class breasts. They looked a little coked up but not beaten down yet.
“This is the homey who broke my nose.” He introduced me to his hoes.
“I should light your little ass up now!” he said, as he play faked some punches at me and laughed.
“If you weren’t with your lady friend, I would invite you to fuck both my bitches. For free too! I bet you never had two bitches before.”
He was right. I looked at Laura and thought to myself, I definitely got to get rid of this bitch. For real!
Posted on October 26, 2007 at 07:13 AM | Comment (3 comments)
